What do you think “love” means?
On June 4, I presented this piece as one of the graduation speeches at the SFS virtual community celebration and chose to speak directly to our students and families. This gathering across GMeet came after our individual celebrations with each of our 8th Graders and their families throughout the early afternoon and across the City. At SFS we work hard to honor each student and the connections they forge with our staff as they make their way through the years with us. I had been doing a lot of thinking about the role of Love in our world, particularly right now with the drive for social justice for Black and Brown people across this nation and the rallying cries to dismantle the racist institutional structures that holds us all back. I was inspired by the writing of our Head of School, Steve Morris, in his call for Love over Hate, and I had a wonderful collaboration with my colleague, Araceli Quezada, who partnered with me to craft this piece.
Good afternoon. On behalf of the SFS Staff I want to congratulate our graduates and families for all that has led us here to this day of celebration...a critical rite of passage on your way to adulthood. Today we celebrate your achievements and your readiness to step into even greater challenges with confidence and courage. We are all incredibly proud of you as individuals and scholars.
I want to talk a bit today about love because love over hate, as Steve reminded us, is perhaps what’s needed most as we stand together to hold our past and face the challenges of the journey ahead. I think none of us who had the chance to take part in the 8th grade Share yesterday morning, will ever forget the twists and turns of Sophie L.’s little preschool self as she wrestled with putting into words the meaning of love. So I thought we could pursue the idea together a bit today.
Your teachers and all the staff at SFS have shown you a kind of love each day. We have made it our mission to encourage and challenge you to become not only excellent students but to fulfill your promise to be complex and compassionate people full of integrity and heart, who are informed about what’s happening in the world and who will continue to pursue humbly new understandings and perspectives. We are living in a world that is changing rapidly before our eyes. In your final year at SFS, we have experienced the unprecedented challenges of a global pandemic, the outrage against police brutality, and a demand for the protection of Black lives that has been too long coming. The love of your teachers asked you to grow your hearts and minds each day.
We have been through a lot together—a lot that has tested our love. It was not the year we expected...to say the least. We started with Challenge Day which set the tone for the year. We pushed ourselves to think about how we each have a part in impacting our school community and culture and how we might create spaces to “lower the water line” for each other to be more of our true selves each day. Through the year, you set yourselves apart as leaders in our school community. I had the great gift to be alongside you as you interacted with elders from the Mission Neighborhood Center. Your Spanish teachers, Petrina, Manuel, and Dimitri, could not have been more proud of you. From Joel supporting his peers who were less comfortable in Spanish to Oliver O working hard use all the Spanish he had to connect with these new friends, we loved you all through that effort. And at another time, Sofia asked me to give some time to support her and James’ and Doug’s efforts with the Orff Salt Lake City group. I got to witness as well as hear about the leadership from those of you who gave your time to this endeavor. A favorite memory of mine was seeing Bea in a rehearsal coaching 6th Grader Vivian on how to stand with confidence in front of the crowd as Vivian practiced her solo. We saw this again and again, an 8th grader with wisdom to offer and a ready younger peer eagerly taking in your advice. We explored our city together during Connect Days, immersing ourselves in the art and architecture of this great city, and I feel so lucky that we were one of the last schools to have a group experience at the San Francisco Ballet...how could we know that only a few days later our campus would close?
Senna, in her powerful speech, reflected that overtime, SFS became her second home…”not everything was perfect. Just like in any home, people fought, people cried, and people got their hearts broken. But they also laughed, they also smiled, and they also loved. That is what makes up SFS, my home. It’s not the perfection that makes up what it is, but the community.” Senna reminds us that love is not perfect...but instead, it is the act of loving what is imperfect in each other that keeps us whole.
And so from afar, through hours on an iPad, we have tried to retain our connections, our love for each other and this community. From daily advisory meetings, where Aki led cooking classes and Nicholas demonstrated how to make the perfect avocado toast, those morning meetings gave us routine and structure which led to 11 weeks later our effort to find creative ways to squeeze out drops of joy from the dry stones of sheltering-in-place. Not only did this class make history by beating the staff at Trivia this week in this newest form of the 8th grade v. staff tradition, but we, the teachers, created a new game,The Amazing Race led by Dimitri. And it was an 8th grade team that earned their name on the very first Amazing Race Potato Plaque—Congratulations, Team Seville!!
We will all face more unknowns this fall. And yet finding ways to experience success, offer one another support, and practice resilience equips us with the tools to forge ahead. Giving each other the space to make mistakes and find solutions is essential to navigating our present conditions. Isn’t that what love is too? To show that care and love for each other even while you’re developing new friendships at your new schools.
In high school and beyond, I hope you will continue to show your love to the broader community as well. The growing protests of the last week have shown us that there is power in numbers and that it is always the right time to speak the truth. Racism and poverty are still deeply embedded in our communities, our city, our country, our world. It will not go away on its own. Let love drive your endeavors in and out of school. Let love be the cornerstone of your dreams as you venture out of the SFS campus toward future success.
In her speech, Nabie reminded us that “even though I know there is hardship, pain, and hurt, there is always the choice to believe that the good still exists. And goodness is beauty, and beauty is imperfection, and I am imperfect, because I am human.” And I will add to her words that to be human is to love...to love the imperfections in ourselves and others…
Everything we have tried to share with you is made clear in this moment. In these uncertain times, your humanitarian promise gives us hope that change is possible. You are scholars and artists and life-long learners who will ensure a new generation of thinkers and writers driven by love. We are confident that you will use your skills and knowledge to make this world better than it has ever been. So whether you choose to fight for climate change, Black Lives Matter, ending homelessness and poverty, immigrant rights, indigenous rights, or all of the above - do so from a place of love. LOVE is the essential agent of change which will spread faster than any virus.
And just as Serina reminded us, ”There is a whole world, universe, and maybe even multiverse waiting for us.” She spoke to the “pale blue dot” [inspired by Carl Sagan] that is our earth, a tiny dot in a giant universe, which gives her perspective on how to move through challenge and struggle as well as to seek out love in the world around her. Let’s join her in this seeking, this pursuit of creating a kinder, more compassionate world filled with love. As Bryan Stevenson, the great social justice leader, said, we are more than the worst thing we have ever done. We must love and forgive and move forward together. That is what our world needs now and it needs us all to be a part of leading the way.
We, all of the staff here at SFS, can’t wait to see how you explore and experience the world, and we hope you come back now and again to 300 Gaven to tell us about how you have loved this world, all those you know, and all those you are yet to meet...to see people for their full humanity, their imperfections, and their glory.
Congratulations to the class of 2020. We love you.